Back in 2018, I started the Refigure podcast without a big strategy, a polished plan or any real sense that it needed to be perfect or impressive. It was just a space to talk about art, culture, what we were seeing, what we were feeling and what we thought about it all. I record it with my husband, the artist formerly known as Chris T-T. Over the years it has become something much more than a podcast.
What began as a simple idea has turned into a reason to go out into the world together, to see exhibitions, watch films and experience culture in all its forms and then come back and talk about it, in a real, curious and sometimes messy way. Somewhere in that process, I found a different kind of voice, one that feels more honest and more like me.
The podcast is coming up to 100 episodes, which still surprises me because if you go back and listen, it is far from perfect. I’m not always polished, and I don’t always say things in the most concise or articulate way. Sometimes I change my mind halfway through a sentence, sometimes I laugh, and sometimes I get things wrong. But I know what I am talking about, and more importantly, I trust myself enough to say it, and that has made a big difference.
One of my favourite things about the podcast is that it creates real reactions. People have strong opinions about what we say and they don’t always agree with us. Sometimes they don’t understand the art we are talking about, or they see it in a completely different way, and sometimes we don’t even agree with each other. That’s part of the joy of it, because using your voice is not about being universally liked or understood. It’s about trusting your perspective enough to express it, even when it’s not shared by everyone else.
What I didn’t expect when I started the podcast was how much joy it would bring into my life. It’s made me more curious, more open and more willing to experience things I might otherwise have overlooked. It has deepened my relationship with Chris, by giving us a shared rhythm, a reason to explore and a way to reflect together. It has also reminded me that using your voice does not have to feel heavy or serious all the time; it can be playful, expansive and genuinely enjoyable.
This is what I think about when I talk about owning the room. So many of the women I work with feel like they need to get everything right, to say the perfect thing, to sound polished, and to avoid making mistakes. I understand that instinct because I have been there too, but what I have learned is that ‘owning the room’ is not about perfection. It is about presence, and about being connected enough to yourself that you can speak without over-filtering or shrinking, even when what you are saying is still forming.
I know the podcast has had an impact because people tell me that it has inspired them to go and see an exhibition they would not have gone to otherwise, or to think differently about a film, an artist, or an idea. They tell me they enjoy hearing real conversations that are not overly curated, and that matters to me, not because it is perfect, but because it is real, and because it encourages people to engage with art and culture in their own way.
I see this same shift in the women who work with me. One client said to me recently, “I realised I’d been waiting to feel confident before I spoke, but now I just say what I think and trust that it’s enough.” Another told me that for the first time in her career, she spoke up in a senior meeting without over-explaining or apologising, and nothing bad happened; in fact, she was taken more seriously. These are not dramatic, overnight transformations, but they are powerful, because they change your perspective when necessary.
If you are waiting until you feel more confident, more polished, or more certain before you really use your voice, you might be waiting for a long time, because confidence does not come first. Expression does, and you build trust in yourself by using your voice, not by holding it back.
This is a big part of what sits behind my Own The Room course. Yes, we go deep and look at patterns, identity, visibility, and power, but we also make space for experimentation, curiosity and play, because when you take the pressure off getting everything right, something opens up and your voice becomes more natural, more grounded and more like you.
At some point, you have to decide whether you are going to keep holding back or whether you are ready to step into something different. If you know you have more to say but you are still hesitating, then this is your time to change that.
I’m running a FREE workshop on Wednesday 26 August at 6pm UK time – live online and open to everyone… sign up here: https://find-your-voice-own-the-room.eventbrite.co.uk
You’ll learn how to speak with confidence; build the kind of self-trust that changes how you show up everywhere, in your work, in your relationships, and bigger and bolder opportunities. I’ll also share the details of my Own The Room course, with a special offer for everyone who attends. There’s nothing to lose, I’m so looking forward to having you in the room.
Search for Refigure podcast on any podcast platform including Apple Podcasts or Spotify.
