One minute you’re in it, part of something, known for what you do. The next, it’s gone. And for a lot of women, it doesn’t just hit your bank account, it hits your sense of self.
There’s the initial disbelief. Then the spiral of questions. What did I do wrong? Why me? Should I have seen it coming? Even when you know, rationally, that redundancies are about budgets or restructures, it’s hard not to take it personally.
Then comes the urgency. Update your CV. Apply for everything. Get back out there. Prove you’re still valuable.
But underneath all of that is something heavier: grief.
Because you’ve lost more than a role. You’ve lost routine, identity, colleagues, momentum, and a version of yourself that felt secure. That takes time to process, whether you give yourself permission to feel it or not.
So before you rush to “fix” it, it’s worth saying this clearly: you are not starting from zero.
You are bringing years of experience, relationships, instincts and resilience with you. None of that disappeared when your job did. It might feel buried right now, but it’s still there.
This is why the first step isn’t always action. It’s steadiness.
Rest more than feels comfortable — enough to let your nervous system settle. You don’t make good decisions when you’re running on adrenaline and fear.
Move your body in simple ways. A walk, a stretch, getting outside. Not as self-improvement, but as a way to shift the heaviness and clear your head.
Let yourself feel it all without rushing to reframe it into something positive. You don’t have to call this a blessing. You just have to get through it.
When you are ready to look forward, start with your network.
The people who already know you, trust you and have seen you in action are far more likely to open doors than sending your CV into the void. Reach out gently. Have conversations. Let people know where you are and what you’re exploring.
And alongside that, if you can, find small pockets of joy.
This can feel almost impossible. How can you enjoy anything when everything feels uncertain?
But enjoyment doesn’t mean ignoring reality. It means giving yourself moments where your whole identity isn’t tied up in “what’s next.” A coffee in the sun. A long walk. A conversation with a friend that has nothing to do with work.
These moments aren’t frivolous — they help you feel like yourself again.
There will be a next step. A new role, a pivot, something you can’t quite see yet.
But you don’t have to force clarity from a place of panic.
Take the time to come back to yourself first. Then move.
And when you do, you won’t be starting from zero. You’ll be starting from experience.
If you’re in the middle of this and your head is spinning, you don’t have to figure it out on your own.
I offer a free 15-minute clarity call — a space to talk things through, sense-check your next move, or just vent to someone who gets it. No pressure, no hard sell. Just a conversation to help you find your footing.
Book a time here: https://rifa.co.uk/book-a-call/
Rifa x
